Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Nauga Saga

My thanks to the Krewe of Nauga for allowing me to share...


It has come to the attention of the Peoples International Nauga Awareness Society (PINAS) that a padilla (pack, flock or herd) has been discovered on Pensacola Beach. Little was known pertaining to these hardy little creatures until the day animal lover Bill Green happened upon a beach hairdresser covering a barstool with naugahyde. Caught in the act, Bill Green explained to her that it had taken the skins of 15 naugas to produce the cover she had just installed.

The horrified hairdresser stopped using the hide at once to call the National Library of Science, PETA, The Audubon Society, and the Zoo for more information on the nauga. She discovered their original habitat was apparently some sandy shore, somewhere, but how they migrated to Pensacola Beach is not entirely clear. There has been some speculation that a pair of little creatures may have been brought o the island by a Vietnam vet.

The beach padilla consists of 30-40 naugas who live in the Sandspur Republic near or under Danah’s Hair Studio. Most of them are a light beige, but there have been a few reports of some being purple, green and gold. Their eyes are brown while they are on land, but turn blue if they go for a dip in the Gulf. They have short ears and a tail and a moth-eaten type fur around the neck. They are four-legged animals, but have the ability to walk on their hind legs. The little creatures live on a simple diet of hairspray, catching the spray as it drifts out the window, further preventing deterioration of the ozone layer, however they become disoriented and wobbly if they ingest too much hairspray (not to be confused with the party animals who inhabit the Sandspur Republic who at times may also shown signs of disorientation and general wobbliness.)

Scientist are currently studying the means of communication between the tiny naugas and humans. The most likely theory by nauga expert, Patty Blake, is that the little animals have supersensitive feelers. These act as sensors which record the frivolous antics of the Mardi Gras season on Pensacola Beach. So the nauga react by partying in the hairspray and dancing in the sand.

Nauga-watching societies have been organized on Pensacola Beach and membership is restricted to those individuals who have never installed naugahyde, sat on naugahyde, or any way approved of naugahyde projects. Sign up at Danah’s Hair Studio.

Sponsored by Peoples International Nauga Awareness Society (PINAS)


Anonymous said...

I wanted so badly to join a nauga watch society but never dreamed my youthful indescretion of sitting on naugahyde would come back to haunt me. Oh what regrets I have! I loved the story. Everything about the beach and the area is absolutely wonderful. I haven't lived in Pensacola for many years. Thank you for giving me a daily peek at my favorite place.

Barrier Island Girl said...

I, too, have a checkered past, Pat. In my youth I had a tan naugahyde beanbag chair. {{{sigh}}}

At least I am allowed to take photos at Krewe of Nauga events in order to help young people avoid the same pitfalls.