Saturday, April 30, 2005

Mother Nature

Okay, am I the only one wondering if Mother Nature has possibly turned menopausal in the past ten months? We've had hurricanes, flooding, hail, and the worst round of severe thunderstorms I can ever remember. Whether in Tennessee or Florida, I'm constantly getting slammed with freakish weather.

I went camping with my college roommate and her family once (years ago) when her mom was going through menopause. Believe me, that pissy mood is something you'll never forget and I recognize the symptoms in Mother Nature.

Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of brushing my teeth with Neutrogena Hand Cream and putting Colgate Simply White on my hands during power outages at night. In the dark, I can't figure out which is which. I once tried to discern what was in my hand by smelling the tube, but ended up with a blob of toothpaste up my nose. So much for depth perception.

The only upside to the situation is that my credit card purchases to have gone down considerably in the last couple of months. I can't get through the book currently on my nightstand!

Pee Pup will have to go on Prozac if all these thunderboomers don't cease and desist soon. We were huddling under the covers until 1:00 a.m. last night and 3:00 a.m. the night before. Believe me, at 3:00 a.m., I didn't like his breath and he didn't like mine, but every time we came up for fresh air another bolt of lightning would strike somewhere close enough to make our hair crackle. I'm worn out, I tell ya!

Even during the morning hours, I'm getting so skittish that I've burned my forehead with a curling iron twice in as many days. I think/hope I have plenty of hair to cover up the damage. Heaven knows, I don't want anyone to mistake the burn marks for ringworm or something. They hurt like heck and I feel like a fool for being such a scairdy cat. {{{sigh}}}

I'm going to spend the morning putting ice on my forehead and looking in the attic for my grandmother's oil lamp. I'll spend the afternoon taking a nap and separating the toothpaste from the hand creme. Maybe tonight I'll go out on a limb and reset all the clocks, the alarm, the microwave, the oven, the VCR and DVD, and the coffeemaker...again.

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