The Lap-Dance method

This afternoon I was reminded that life becomes more interesting as you get older and your hearing isn't what it once was. Considering that I did not attend a lot of concerts as a teenager, I can only surmise it was the hours I spent trying to blow dry my hair into some Farrah-do, that made me half-deaf. Now, I am paying the price.

I should be less surprised by some of the things I think I hear nowadays, especially after the time I mistakenly thought a friend of mine was getting a boob job when she was only going to Jiffy Lube. But, once again, an ad on television made me stop in my tracks:

"You can now lose a significant amount of weight with relatively low complications by using the lap-dance method!"

HUH?

I can say with all honesty, if I had a husband who decided he needed to 'lose some weight' via the lap-dance method, he'd have a WHOLE lotta complications he hadn't planned on.

I stopped unpacking books in the office and stuck my head around the corner to see what channel was on in the other room. Only then did I see they were referring quite innocently to the lap-band method.

"Oops," I said with embarrassment in my best Roseanne Roseannadanna impression as Pee Pup cocked his head in my direction, "Nevermind."